Falling from Grace

I’ve been thinking about David Goggins‘ words I heard today; his statement that the pain we feel is our desire to live better then we are and our knowledge that the ability to do so is real.

His words give me hope while acknowledging the reason I am feeling emotional and physical pain.

“ah… I can change this. I am creating it.”

I’ve been doing a lot of falling down of late; falling way short of my personal goals. It is a painful process. I appreciate all support and hope for me to get back up and continue living. Again; Mr. Goggin’s words — as I paraphrase… the goal is not to survive, it is to thrive.

I often give thought to the story of  opposites: God and Satan. I ponder Grace and divine Love, and the place forgiveness takes in all of it. Sometimes I wonder about such things very literally. More often then not, I ponder them as markers to my own emotions, thoughts, and deeds.

I feel only in humility, recognizing that i am journeying amongst equals — all of us striving to live our best, in our time, am I able to truly remain on Love’s journey home.

And I have faith upon arrival, I will know that we’ve been home all along.

How far the fall?

As I write, I sit here with many challenges.

One associate I do work for, well, I’m not clear why communication is so difficult… and having just reread one of their emails with work direction, I’d say part of it is I’m not giving a clear consciousness to, grounded manner, reading and paying attention to what is said — which is what I was thinking is their issue.

Matthew 7:4

And there in is the rub; more likely then not—I’d bet on it—I am my problem.

Shall I be discouraged? Should I give up in hopeless disgust with myself… thinking bountiful joy and uplifting, creative energy is a impossible dream?

I feel the dead weight of dead energy in me. Who else should take responsibility for the inner chaos of my storm?

There is no other course I know then to get back up, and continually step forward to the only Light I know — until I know differently.

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